Learning to care for myself as a content creator has been one of the longest, most arduous journeys I’ve ever faced, and to be completely honest, it will probably be a constant one. It’s one thing to worry about the variable income that comes from full-time, independent content creation, and it’s another to worry about the mental weight of not only that, but everything that comes from being in a space that gets inherently looked at as competitive. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming, that I can’t even begin to think about how to grasp that weight, and throw it out of my mind.
But the good thing is that I’m learning, adapting, and in fact, have found ways to combat it!
Something to understand about me, in particular, is that my self-esteem is like…rock bottom. Well, not quite that low, but basically just enough above rock bottom to look like it’s not actually low self-esteem, but more like…modesty? Honestly, I just think I must be good at hiding it, because a lot of people have said that they wish they had my confidence. While it’s neat that I’m perceived as such, listen…it’s like a dumpster full of negative thoughts about myself up in my brain, all repressed and fermenting into something way smellier than how it started.
So with the help of an idea I had, as well the services of a great therapist, I decided to start cleaning that dumpster out.
In case you can’t read my atrocious handwriting (it’s not negative if it’s true), the left side is for writing things I did well in the day, and the right is listing the things I was grateful for, that day.
I had always wanted to start listing off things I was grateful for every day, so when I brought this up to my therapist, she also suggested writing things down that I did well in the day as a means of directing more attention toward my self esteem.
So what I’ve decided to do is make this a regular practice (the intention is to do it daily). I started writing down what I did well in the day, that way I can start feeling more self-worth, which helps by recognizing things I do each day that I feel I accomplished. I also write down what I was grateful for that day, helping me have a more positive outlook on aspects of my life.
It may sound cheesy, but let me tell you something: it felt great just to even start this practice.
It’s not easy to just sort these thoughts out in your head. Sure, you can take a moment to recognize what you were grateful for in a day, and think about what you did well, but it’s a whole different thing for your brain to actually turn those thoughts into words on a board, a blank page, or however you decide to get it out. It felt incredible just to do it once, so I’m incredibly excited to continue.
Whether you’re a full-time content creator, or someone who just needs to have a moment in your life to take stock and nurture the mind, this has been something I’m very, very happy that I started doing. It doesn’t seem like much, but the effect it has on the mind is so much more than I imagined it would be.
No matter who you are, we need that little bit of tender love and care, even if it’s us giving it to ourselves.
Do you have any self-care rituals? Let me know in the comments!