After deciding to make a career off of being an independent writer/creator, I’ve been ultra in-tune to the attitudes about my decision from others. On that same note, I’ve been ultra sensitive when I feel like someone is discouraging me from that kind of a career, even if its something as simple as a look that suggests that I’m crazy. In a sense, I sometimes feel like I am crazy in regards to this career path, but hey! I’M STILL DOIN’ IT.
With these thoughts rolling through my head constantly, I recently had a conversation with some friends about this new-found career path of mine. Of course, I felt like the question was approached with a tone of “what are you even doing with your life?” Granted, I lost my mother in October, and I was in the process of looking for a job at that time despite the stress of her being in hospice taking its toll on me (which meant that the job search didn’t end up lasting too long), so I’m sure most people I know have a giant question mark in their head as far as where I’m at with my life. My friends all seemed fascinated by what I was aiming to do with my life of trying to make it as a writer/content creator, and though I didn’t really know how to respond to that particular sentiment, I found it more invigorating than the alternative: making me feel like this big choice I made would ultimately fail, making me poor, homeless, and more of a disappointment than I may already be to those who disagree with what I’m trying to do. Can you tell that I’ve been thinking about this a lot?
And this isn’t to say that I’m uncomfortable with the decision to become a full-time writer, trying to become successful through my creations. It’s felt like the right decision to make for over a year, but never really became a viable option until just a few months ago. It’s the one passion of mine that has stuck around for the longest, while everything else seems to come and go. While I recognize the unconventionality of it, and what could happen if I don’t succeed, all signs in my life have seemed to point in this direction. So whether or not people support it, it’s still something I have to throw all my efforts into it.
To the credit of others in my life, the group of friends I spoke with weren’t the only ones to be enthused with the choice that I made for my career. Plenty of other friends and family found it exciting, and thought that it’s definitely something I could pull off. Every time I talk about this scary, but ultimately fulfilling decision I’ve made for my career, and I get a supportive response, I feel hopeful. That sounds cheesy, and I know you probably just thought “okay, cool” but there’s honestly not a better way to describe how it feels. The feeling of hearing someone tell me that they think I’ll be successful at what I’m working toward is almost as satisfying as accomplishing that thing, itself. It’s like the kindling to a bonfire of a career.
The more I discover which people in my life are supportive of my big career choice, the closer I feel to them, and the more I become aware of the kind of people I need to surround myself with. That’s not to say I only want people in my life who approve of every single thing that I do, because we do need those people who keep us grounded, too. However, there’s a difference people who try to keep you grounded, and people who try to pull you so far into the ground, you can’t see the light. Having people in your life that lift you up rather than drag you down, especially when it comes to things you’re passionate about, is such an important part of feeling secure in those decisions that you make. You don’t necessarily need that support to know you’re doing the right thing, but feeling that it’s there certainly takes literally a ton of weight off of making the decision.
This video of Will Smith made its way to my Twitter feed, and I feel like it’s so applicable to what I’ve been talking about, and a great reminder to us all about the kind of people who deserve our time.
“Everybody don’t deserve to be around you.” Lawd if that ain’t the truth 💯 pic.twitter.com/iqrqL07pnW
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) February 2, 2018