The Big Move is Coming

I know moving won't magically make my life better, but I guess at this point, I don't see the harm in believing that it will.

Escaping the Desert

I've lived in the Phoenix, Arizona area all my life. Aside from four years of living in Flagstaff for university, which is just over 100 miles north of Phoenix, I've spent my whole life evaporating away in this hellscape of a desert. So doing the math, that's a grand total of 25 years of being roasted alive by how much the sun spites us, here. Plus side? I'm still alive, so take that, Mother Nature.

Where I live was never much of a thought in my life until I started getting closer to 30, feeling the desire to create more stable connections, and feel like I have roots in the place I want to call home. I always knew Phoenix wouldn't be home forever, but the thoughts of leaving became too loud to ignore when I moved to an area in the city where I thought I'd be happier, and I'm still...not happy. Don't get me wrong, I love the friends I've made here, and the family members (that I still talk to) that still live here. However, I can't shake the feeling that I don't have a foundation, here. I've had to fight tooth and nail to feel like I even have some sort of tie to this city, and even then, most days, I feel incredibly isolated.

"But Jeff, have you tried-" yes, I have. "Okay but why don't you-" yep, already did that. "Have you considered that-" dear reader, I've tried it all. Even my therapist said something along the lines of "I've watched you try so hard to fit in here and none of it has gone the way you want it to." I'm not here to justify why leaving my hometown is the correct choice, and I'm not here to (entirely) talk crap about where I grew up. This city is gorgeous in all its own ways, but I'm not here to explain to anyone why it's no longer for me.

I'm here to talk about Seattle.

Moving

I am an adult who does not want to live in a home where his entire life has taken place. I have so much to look forward to, so much ahead of me, that I can’t have a heavy past weighing me down.

Am I Worth Your Time?

As I've been getting older, I've started having more and more mild panic attacks about just how much time I have left before Death's fatal kiss takes me. Okay, maybe not actual panic attacks, but my thoughts spiral into an endless loop of approximating 60-ish years until I die, wondering if I can accomplish all …